Category Archives: Personal Development

Changing the World 140 Characters at a Time

By Dr. Laura Hills, President, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com

Today marks two years for me on Twitter – my Twitter-versary, if you will. As I contemplate the relationships I’ve formed, the good ideas I’ve gleaned, and the huge amount of personal and professional development material I’ve written for my Twitter followers, I find myself sincerely grateful to the Twitterverse.

I have 5,000 followers. That’s astounding. And these are real, living, breathing people from all over the world. I see my messages favorited and retweeted all the time. People interact with me daily. And since I began my Twitter career, I’ve received loads of positive feedback from followers who tell me that I am making a difference. For instance, take a look at what just a few have had to say:

“Your message is always powerful and convincing. Thank you so much!! I wish I could have audio Twitter to listen to your voice. Your wealth of information and ideas are inspiring too! Our company needs someone like you to empower women.” – Mana, Japan

“Love your tweets. Thanks for the inspiration. They always seem to come at the right time for me, too.” – Michelle, Ohio

“Powerful tips, I must tell you. You’re nurturing the seed of leadership in me. When you write, I’m fed.” – Samuel, Nigeria

“You have helped me a great deal without even knowing it. I am a new supervisor and your words are like little daily gems.” – Flo, New York City

“You have no idea how much your tweets have helped me.” — Roger, Mexico

This is just the tip of the iceberg. In all, more than 100 of my followers have reached out to me in this way – unsolicited – just to tell me how much they appreciate what I’m doing. I’ve treasured each of these comments, so much so that I’ve created a Pinterest board to showcase them: http://pinterest.com/drlaurahills/high-praise-for-my-tweets/

When I began tweeting two years ago, I had selfish reasons. I wanted to promote Blue Pencil Institute. But Twitter has turned into something much more than that for me. Little did I know then that I would find a virtual, global classroom in which I could teach and make a difference in the world every day.

Being Excellent in the Age of Mediocrity

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By Dr. Laura Hills, President, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com

Excellence – it’s what we admire in others and what we strive for every day. But what does it mean to be excellent? Are we excellent because we achieve excellent results? Does how we achieve those results matter? Do excellent efforts and intentions make us excellent, regardless of the outcome? Must we strive for excellence in everything we do? Can we justify being excellent in some areas of our work and our lives and not in others?

If you’ve already achieved a high level of excellence, you may be further concerned about whether and how you can sustain your excellence day after day, year after year, or even, decade after decade. You may wonder how you can prevent that all too common “whatever” or “good enough” attitude that creeps into place when we fall prey to inertia, boredom, arrogance, and complacency. How do we remain excellent when it seems that no one notices or cares what we do, when we are surrounded by others who don’t share our value of excellence, when we are operating in a time that others have dubbed the “age of mediocrity”?

Excellence is a hungry mouth. It clamors for constant feeding. And it can vanish in an instant. That means that we must be vigilant about our excellence. It’s not enough to have been excellent at one time. We can’t rest on those laurels. We’re only as excellent as we are right now, in this moment, in these circumstances. Consider Colin Powell, who says, “If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception; it’s a prevailing attitude.” That sounds a lot to me like Aristotle, who is attributed as having said, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit.”

What I’ve learned working with career professionals for more than 30 years is that the best way to become and remain excellent is to develop excellence as a habit. Excellence, therefore, must become not only what we think or what we want to be, but who we are. That means three things: that excellence in small things does indeed matter, that we must surround ourselves with individuals who can support our excellence, and most of all, that we must repeat excellence again and again and again — until excellence becomes engrained in us.

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow

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By Dr. Laura Hills, President, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com

It’s snowing today in the Washington, DC metropolitan area and practically everything is closed. As I write this sitting at my desk, I am looking out my window through a curtain of heavy wet snowflakes. I see the young family that lives across the street wearing puffy ski jackets and boots, out shoveling their driveway and sidewalk together. I see my daughter’s white car parked on the street with snow accumulating on its roof, hood, and windows, making it look like a white hump. And I see the tire marks left by vehicles that have sloshed their way up and down our unplowed, untreated street today.

This morning, I received a call from my doctor’s office to reschedule our appointment today for my annual exam. And though I wasn’t particularly dreading this appointment, how elated I was about this postponement. Why? You see, I wanted a snow day. How delicious it is to wear my slippers and to know that I do not have to leave to go anywhere today, that I am safe and secure and warm here in my home. Now mind you, I don’t have any desire to repeat the infamous blizzard of 1996 when I was snowed in with young children for days and days, when cabin fever started to set in. But for this one lovely day in early March, I am content just to be here, to see the children outside my window forming snowballs and chucking them at their father while he shovels the snow.

Is Your Attire Hurting Your Career?

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By Dr. Laura Hills, President, Blue Pencil Institute (www.bluepencilinstitute.com)

Here are five signs that what you wear to work may be hurting your career:

Your boss has told you explicitly that you need to wear more professional attire.
Someone in your office feels compelled to remind you to “dress nicely” for important meetings and special events.
A coworker with equal or lesser skills but a nicer wardrobe was promoted over you.
On those odd days when you do take a little extra time with your professional attire, your coworkers want to know if you’re going on a job interview or if something else is happening to you.
You keep asking to be considered for a more visible role in your organization but you are not offered those opportunities.

Does any of this sound familiar? If so, your attire may be having a negative effect on your career. Whether you like it or not, you may have to make some wardrobe changes in order to achieve your career goals.

Tip: Notice what the most successful people in your organization wear to work and emulate them. Dress for the job or level of position you want, not the one you have now.

What to Do If You’re Bad with Names

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By Dr. Laura Hills, President, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com

Do you have trouble remembering people’s names? If so, I hope you don’t tell people that you’re “terrible with names”. No one likes to hear that. And some people will be offended by such a remark, assuming that you’re self-absorbed and don’t care much about others.

I also hope that you don’t tell yourself that remembering people’s names is beyond your control, that it’s your lot in life to be bad at it, or that it’s just the way you are. Unless you’re physically, psychologically, or emotionally unable to remember names, that’s a bunch of hooey.

The best thing you can do if you think you’re bad at remembering names is to get rid of that notion and get better at it. Here’s how:

1. Focus. Pay close attention when you’re introduced to someone new or when you greet him or her for the first time. If you don’t hear the person’s name clearly, say so right away and ask to have it repeated. Repeat it yourself if the pronunciation is difficult and ask the person to let you know if you’re saying it properly, even if it takes several go-rounds.

TIp: Get the name right, no matter what. You can’t remember what you don’t know.

2. Be more observant. Concentrate during the introduction and don’t allow your mind to wander. Observe the person carefully. Get a distinct impression of him or her. Try to discover outstanding physical or other distinguishing characteristics of the person, especially of his or her face. For example, note whether the person is tall, short, overweight, thin, the length and color of his or her hair, the shape of his or her face, complexion, etc.

3. Repeat the person’s name silently to yourself several times. Also say the person’s name out loud at least once when you meet him or her. For example, “It is so nice to meet you, Mr. Gonzalez.

4. Associate. If possible, associate the person’s name with a rhyme, song, or some other mnemonic device. For example, my last name is Hills. It would be easy for you to remember that if you associate my name with Beverly Hills.

5. Write the person’s name within 24 hours of meeting him or her. The end of each day is a great time to do this. Look at the written name and recall the person’s face and distinguishing characteristics.

Tip: When meeting someone at a seminar or other program where name tags are worn, make a conscious effort to say the person’s name and read his or her name tag at the same time. That way, you’ll both visualize and verbalize the name.

Life Lessons: What I Learned at Prostate School

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My husband is going to undergo treatment for prostate cancer in 10 days and this morning, we took a class together at the hospital. They call it “prostate school”, I suppose, to make it sound more fun. Actually, we did enjoy the class and surprisingly, laughed more than once.

I’d like to share with you five life lessons I took away from prostate school today that I believe transcend this experience:

1. The human body is a miracle. We saw diagrams of the human body and discussed in some detail how everything works together. It’s so easy to forget what a miracle each of us is. It was nice to have that reminder.

2. Modern medicine is astounding. My husband is undergoing a treatment in which radioactive seeds will be implanted into his prostate, targeting his cancer with great precision. The cure rate is outstanding – better than 90%. Even Jules Verne did not predict something like that.

3. What we eat matters – a LOT. We met with a dietician who reviewed in detail what my husband can’t eat for the first 30 – 90 days after his procedure. I never considered before the little things that affect our digestion — like whether a fruit has a skin on it (like a blueberry) or that we react so differently to seemingly similar greens (such as spinach and kale).

4. A natural response to losing something is to want it badly. Men who undergo radioactive seed therapy for prostate cancer are placed on a special diet for a few months afterwards. Everyone in the class groaned and grumbled about the foods that aren’t allowed on the diet. We were all saddened that tomatoes are on the taboo list for 90 days. That’s understandable because so many delicious foods are tomato-based. But what surprised me is that my husband seemed especially sad that he couldn’t eat Brussels sprouts for 30 days. Brussels sprouts? For 30 days?

5. Being married to a loving spouse is the best thing in the world. We were three couples in the class together this morning and each wife took time away from work and other activities to sit beside her husband, to learn with him, and to support him. Our nurse trainer on more than one occasion said something specifically to the wives about what we would need to do – drive our husbands home from the hospital, bring their medication with us the day of the procedure, etc. I cannot imagine what it would be like for a man to have to go through this treatment without such support. I am so grateful that I am able to help my husband through this.

My husband and I are optimistic and thanks to prostate school, we feel even more prepared to go through this treatment now. That brings me to my final life lesson from prostate school: Knowing what to expect makes all the difference in the world. – Dr. Laura Hills, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com.

Lifelong Learning — In the Bathroom?

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I’ve never been what you would call low maintenance. It takes me about a half-hour or so at the bathroom vanity every morning to turn the head that I wake up with into the head that the world sees every day. To my credit, I think that’s darned impressive when you consider the gazillion steps and products that I go through to transform myself into the person most of the world has come to know.

Recently, a friend gave me some CDs to listen to with interesting interviews on them with great people like Seth Godin, Brian Tracy, and John Maxwell. I was excited to have them but wondered at first when I would have time to listen to them. I don’t drive long distances on a typical day (a good thing, I think), so listening to them in my car wasn’t a good option. Of course, I thought about just sitting down and listening to them, but I couldn’t figure out when I would do that.

The next day, I mulled this over while washing, toning, and moisturizing my face and it hit me; what if I listened to them while I was getting ready in the morning? I’ve listened to music in the bathroom and in fact have both an iHome and a CD player in there for just that purpose. But it never occurred to me that I could listen to an educational or inspiring audio program in there before.

I popped the first CD into my old player and within five minutes I was hooked. I’ve been listening to these programs for a week now and have to admit that I actually look forward to going into the bathroom and listening to them every morning. I’ve already learned so many good ideas and gained tremendous inspiration from these programs. But what I love most of all is that I’ve turned my necessary morning routine into something that’s good not only for my outsides, but for my insides, too. What a great start to my day!

Now, I’m craving more good audio programs that I can listen to each day – ones that will help me stretch and grow as a person and in my career. Readers – do you have any good ones to suggest to me? I welcome your recommendations. – Dr. Laura Hills, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com

Debunking Time Management Myths: 12 Popular Misconceptions

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By Dr. Laura Hills, President, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com

Below are 12 popular misconceptions about time management. Do you believe any of them to be true?

There’s plenty of time. I can do that later.
There’s too much to do. It can’t be done.
He/she has more time than I have.
I’m busy right now so I can let that slide.
I’m the only one who can do it.
I can get more done in more time when I wisely use caffeine, sugar, alcohol, or nicotine.
I should have no limits
It’ll be quicker if I just do it myself.
The longer I work, the more I will get done.
Multi-tasking will save time.
Breaks? That’s a waste of time. I don’t need them.
I have no control over the way I spend my time.

Hanging onto misconceptions about our time such as these will ultimately create stress and interfere with our productivity. Talk with your colleagues, partner, or coach to see how these misconceptions are untrue and to figure out better, healthier, and more effective ways to think about managing your time.

Do You Have a Collaborative Work Style? Take Our Quiz

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By Dr. Laura Hills, President, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com

Answer True (T) or False (F) for each statement below to evaluate whether you have collaborative attitudes, work style, and working preferences.

__ 1. I tend to knuckle under to group pressure easily.

__ 2. I produce my best results when I work on my own.

__ 3. My job would be so much easier if I didn’t have to depend upon others to do it.

__ 4. People will almost always let you down.

__ 5. I don’t care about my job that much; I just want to be told what to do.

__ 6. Too many cooks spoil the broth.

__ 7. I know what’s best and don’t see the value of hearing others’ opinions.

__ 8. I can’t stand some of the people I work with.

__ 9. When someone talks, I compose my answer before he or she finishes speaking.

__ 10. I’m just trying to get by here.

__ 11. It’s a “dog eat dog” world.

__ 12. I believe the best way to respond when you disagree is to bite your tongue.

__ 13. Meetings are a waste of time.

__ 14. No great work of art was ever created by collaborating.

__ 15. I always seem to end up pulling more than my weight on a group project.

__ 16. I run the other way from conflict.

__ 17. I hated being put on group projects in school.

__ 18. When someone challenges my ideas, I clam up.

__ 19. It’s all about me.

__ 20. It I want the job done right, I do it myself.

Count the number of False (F) responses and give yourself five points for each. Then see how likely you are to succeed when collaborating with others.

YOUR SCORE:

95-100: Thriver: You are a collaborative superstar. You generally trust others and embrace the opportunity to work collaboratively with them. You are likely to excel in collaborative environments.

80-90: Team Player: You have many attitudes and preferences that position you well to succeed when working collaboratively. You will probably function well on a team. However, you do have some beliefs that may interfere with your ability to get the most out of collaborative opportunities. Continue to open yourself to new ideas and ways of thinking, especially as they relate to your working with others.

65-75: Doubter: You hold some beliefs and values that suggest that you don’t always see the value in collaborative work. Perhaps you’ve been burned in the past. Or perhaps collaboration doesn’t come naturally or easily to you. Spend some time thinking about what you can gain personally and professionally from the opportunity to work collaboratively with others. Continue to refine your thinking, especially it relates to your working collaboratively.

60 and Below: Loner: You probably find collaborative work difficult. Perhaps you don’t see the value in collaboration, or perhaps you feel that you’re not well suited to collaborative work. Chances are that you more naturally gravitate toward work opportunities that allow you to work and shine independently. That’s OK. However, if you’d like to excel in collaborative work, you will need to change many of your attitudes. Continue to learn more about collaboration, how it can benefit you personally and professionally, and what you need to think and do to be an effective collaborator.

Ask Dr. Hills: How to Deal with Meeting Participants Who Plug In to Plug Out

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Dear Dr. Hills: Meeting facilitation is a large part of my job. I’m always struggling with folks being preoccupied and not being focused on the meeting at hand. They’re often looking at their email and other items on their laptop vs. paying attention to the meeting. I understand that everyone is busy. But sometimes it can be frustrating as I’m trying to get things accomplished during these meetings.

How do I address this? These are folks who absolutely understand meeting etiquette and often times facilitate meetings themselves. My issue is that I have to lead by influence as I have no direct reporting relationship with this people. I’ve tried giving them roles in the meeting when applicable and I’ve tried engaging them and asking them questions. Do you have any other suggestions? – Feeling Frustrated

Dear Feeling Frustrated: You’re describing a common yet difficult problem. We didn’t always have so many electronic escape hatches. But there have always been problems with people not paying attention at meetings and classes. I remember my sociology professor ejecting one of my undergraduate classmates from a large lecture hall back in the 70s because he was reading the newspaper instead of paying attention to the lecture. Today’s electronic devices just amplify things by giving people easier and more ways to disconnect from what’s going on in front of them.

I appreciate that you have no direct reporting relationship with the people who are attending your meetings. That makes it an even tougher challenge for you. I like the strategies you’re using of engaging participants by giving them tasks to do and asking them questions. I encourage you to do as much as you can to make the meetings as productive and engaging as possible.

However, realistically, that may not do the trick. There seems to be a white elephant in your meeting room and I believe that you may need to say so. I’ve found it helpful when things like this happen to be transparent, to call a spade a spade, to say what I’m seeing, and to say how it’s making me feel. Would you feel comfortable addressing the issue squarely with your meeting participants?

If the problem is with one or two people, you can address this with them privately. But if the problem is pervasive, you might tell your meeting participants as a whole what you’ve observed. A good way to broach this is simply to say, “I noticed….” You could stop there and see what they say. Ex: “I noticed today that several of you were engaged in activities on your laptop during our meeting.” Then pause. That’s sometimes all it takes to change the behavior. Often, people will realize that they’ve done something that they shouldn’t be doing. Some may actually apologize.

Or, they may try to defend their behavior. They may say something to the effect that they can’t help it because they’re so busy, or that the meeting isn’t a productive use of their time. If they say that, then that’s something you can then talk about. However, if they say nothing, you can go on to say that their practice of multitasking during your meeting makes you feel that they’re disengaged, uninterested, or otherwise unavailable to take part in the meeting you’ve planned. Don’t use emotionally-charged or judgmental words; don’t say they’re being rude or insensitive or that they should know better. Better: “When I see you engaging in tasks on your laptop during our meeting, I feel _____ because ______.” That’s not accusatory or disrespectful. No one can argue about what you’re entitled to feel.

This direct approach takes some courage. But I predict that if you don’t do something different that the behavior will continue or worsen. Electronic communication has brought us all closer together but has also enabled people to disengage from situations they don’t like. Some people use their electronic devices for escape. Some are afraid that they may miss something. And in some cases, other people may expect them to be on an electronic leash, available all the time. I believe our culture suffers when we can’t focus on deep learning and building trusting relationships. Don’t give up. Keep working on this. I think that with a direct approach that you can change the behavior without whining, begging, bullying, or belittling. – Dr. Laura Hills, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com