Category Archives: Communication

Cram Your Suitcase to Become a Better Writer

By Dr. Laura Hills, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com

Packed SuitcaseI’ve always been a good writer. My essays and papers were well-received in high school and college. However, my writing quality went through the roof when I had a writing experience early in my career that taught me how to be clearer and more concise.

I landed a job writing an eight-page monthly subscription newsletter for dentists on how to market and manage their practices. The publisher told me that my job as the sole author of the newsletter was to pack as much good, solid, useful information into each issue as I possibly could. A packed newsletter, he said, gives readers their money’s worth and a reason to renew their subscriptions. “Cut a line here, a word there, and say whatever you have to say in the smallest space you possibly can,” he told me. “Overstuff each issue, just as you’d cram a small suitcase. Use every scrap of valuable newsletter real estate to pack in more great ideas for our readers.” 

 

I wrote that newsletter – every word, every issue – for seven years. And from that experience, I became masterful at trimming the unnecessary. The lessons I learned from this formative experience are these: A reader’s attention is precious. As writers, we have an obligation not to waste that attention. And, we become better writers when we stuff as much content as we can into the space we have.

 

What happens when your space is unlimited? Before you begin to write, imagine filling a small suitcase. No one wants to read text that rambles on. Write economically. Trim what isn’t needed. Pack light — only what you need — and use every inch well. Your reader will appreciate your brevity but more importantly, your writing will become clearer, better, and more concise.

Dr. Laura Hills is an author, speaker, trainer, and coach who specializes in personal and professional development for career professionals. She is the president of Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com. This post is an excerpt from her latest book, They’ll Eat Out of Your Hand If You Know What to Feed Them: http://www.bluepencilinstitute.com/products/featured-product.html. Join her mailing list for updates about her latest books, articles, and programs at: http://eepurl.com/Owd55.


 

Don’t Be a Corporate-Speak Zombie

Dr. Laura Hills, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com

ZombieThere’s been a movement in recent years for career professionals to liken themselves to businesses. Concepts such as self-branding, personal mission statements, and being the CEO of a company of one are intriguing ideas. They borrow concepts from industry and are designed to help career professionals gain clarity about what they’re doing and to find ways to relate to their audiences professionally. However, it’s dangerous to take this strategy too far, especially when we communicate with others.

Career professionals are not corporations. We’re alive, mortal, and human. That’s our strength. When we speak before others, we have an opportunity to relate to them personally. A great deal of our effectiveness as speakers relies upon our willingness to show ourselves as genuine and human. Therefore, career professionals who communicate effectively don’t sound like walking, talking corporate-speak zombies. They avoid impersonal buzzwords, jargon, and clichés. Instead, they use more natural everyday language to convey their ideas.

 

Want some examples? Here are just a few of the words and phrases on my corporate-speak zombie list:

 

mission critical, zero-sum game, procurement, value proposition, re-engineering, mindshare, vis-à-vis, human capital, monetize, incentivize, operationalize, contextualize, and a host of other –ize words.

 

Do you agree that these words and phrases are overused and predictable and sound more corporate than human?

Dr. Laura Hills is an author, speaker, trainer, and coach who specializes in personal and professional development for career professionals. Join her mailing list for updates about her latest books, articles, and programs at: http://eepurl.com/Owd55.

 

Changing the World 140 Characters at a Time

By Dr. Laura Hills, President, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com

Today marksTwitter Logo two years for me on Twitter – my Twitter-versary, if you will. As I contemplate the relationships I’ve formed, the good ideas I’ve gleaned, and the huge amount of personal and professional development material I’ve written for my Twitter followers, I find myself sincerely grateful to the Twitterverse.

I have 5,000 followers. That’s astounding. And these are real, living, breathing people from all over the world. I see my messages favorited and retweeted all the time. People interact with me daily. And since I began my Twitter career, I’ve received loads of positive feedback from followers who tell me that I am making a difference. For instance, take a look at what just a few have had to say:

Your message is always powerful and convincing. Thank you so much!!  I wish I could have audio Twitter to listen to your voice. Your wealth of information and ideas are inspiring too! Our company needs someone like you to empower women.” – Mana, Japan

Love your tweets. Thanks for the inspiration. They always seem to come at the right time for me, too.” – Michelle, Ohio

Powerful tips, I must tell you. You’re nurturing the seed of leadership in me. When you write, I’m fed.” – Samuel, Nigeria

You have helped me a great deal without even knowing it. I am a new supervisor and your words are like little daily gems.” – Flo, New York City

You have no idea how much your tweets have helped me.” — Roger, Mexico

This is just the tip of the iceberg. In all, more than 100 of my followers have reached out to me in this way – unsolicited – just to tell me how much they appreciate what I’m doing. I’ve treasured each of these comments, so much so that I’ve created a Pinterest board to showcase them: http://pinterest.com/drlaurahills/high-praise-for-my-tweets/

When I began tweeting two years ago, I had selfish reasons. I wanted to promote Blue Pencil Institute. But Twitter has turned into something much more than that for me. Little did I know then that I would find a virtual, global classroom in which I could teach and make a difference in the world every day.

What to Do If You’re Bad with Names

By Dr. Laura Hills, President, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com

Do you have troushutterstock_130174040 (2)ble remembering people’s names? If so, I hope you don’t tell people that you’re “terrible with names”. No one likes to hear that. And some people will be offended by such a remark, assuming that you’re self-absorbed and don’t care much about others.

I also hope that you don’t tell yourself that remembering people’s names is beyond your control, that it’s your lot in life to be bad at it, or that it’s just the way you are. Unless you’re physically, psychologically, or emotionally unable to remember names, that’s a bunch of hooey.

The best thing you can do if you think you’re bad at remembering names is to get rid of that notion and get better at it. Here’s how:

1.  Focus. Pay close attention when you’re introduced to someone new or when you greet him or her for the first time. If you don’t hear the person’s name clearly, say so right away and ask to have it repeated. Repeat it yourself if the pronunciation is difficult and ask the person to let you know if you’re saying it properly, even if it takes several go-rounds.

 TIp: Get the name right, no matter what. You can’t remember what you don’t know.

2.  Be more observant. Concentrate during the introduction and don’t allow your mind to wander. Observe the person carefully. Get a distinct impression of him or her. Try to discover outstanding physical or other distinguishing characteristics of the person, especially of his or her face. For example, note whether the person is tall, short, overweight, thin, the length and color of his or her hair, the shape of his or her face, complexion, etc.

3.  Repeat the person’s name silently to yourself several times. Also say the person’s name out loud at least once when you meet him or her. For example, “It is so nice to meet you, Mr. Gonzalez.

4.  Associate. If possible, associate the person’s name with a rhyme, song, or some other mnemonic device. For example, my last name is Hills. It would be easy for you to remember that if you associate my name with Beverly Hills.

5.  Write the person’s name within 24 hours of meeting him or her. The end of each day is a great time to do this. Look at the written name and recall the person’s face and distinguishing characteristics.

Tip: When meeting someone at a seminar or other program where name tags are worn, make a conscious effort to say the person’s name and read his or her name tag at the same time. That way, you’ll both visualize and verbalize the name.

Ask Dr. Hills: How to Deal with Meeting Participants Who Plug In to Plug Out

shutterstock_48957622Dear Dr. Hills: Meeting facilitation is a large part of my job. I’m always struggling with folks being preoccupied and not being focused on the meeting at hand. They’re often looking at their email and other items on their laptop vs. paying attention to the meeting. I understand that everyone is busy. But sometimes it can be frustrating as I’m trying to get things accomplished during these meetings.

How do I address this? These are folks who absolutely understand meeting etiquette and often times facilitate meetings themselves. My issue is that I have to lead by influence as I have no direct reporting relationship with this people. I’ve tried giving them roles in the meeting when applicable and I’ve tried engaging them and asking them questions. Do you have any other suggestions? – Feeling Frustrated

Dear Feeling Frustrated: You’re describing a common yet difficult problem. We didn’t always have so many electronic escape hatches. But there have always been problems with people not paying attention at meetings and classes. I remember my sociology professor ejecting one of my undergraduate classmates from a large lecture hall back in the 70s because he was reading the newspaper instead of paying attention to the lecture. Today’s electronic devices just amplify things by giving people easier and more ways to disconnect from what’s going on in front of them.

I appreciate that you have no direct reporting relationship with the people who are attending your meetings. That makes it an even tougher challenge for you.  I like the strategies you’re using of engaging participants by giving them tasks to do and asking them questions. I encourage you to do as much as you can to make the meetings as productive and engaging as possible.

However, realistically, that may not do the trick. There seems to be a white elephant in your meeting room and I believe that you may need to say so. I’ve found it helpful when things like this happen to be transparent, to call a spade a spade, to say what I’m seeing, and to say how it’s making me feel. Would you feel comfortable addressing the issue squarely with your meeting participants?

If the problem is with one or two people, you can address this with them privately. But if the problem is pervasive, you might tell your meeting participants as a whole what you’ve observed. A good way to broach this is simply to say, “I noticed….” You could stop there and see what they say. Ex: “I noticed today that several of you were engaged in activities on your laptop during our meeting.” Then pause. That’s sometimes all it takes to change the behavior. Often, people will realize that they’ve done something that they shouldn’t be doing. Some may actually apologize.

Or, they may try to defend their behavior. They may say something to the effect that they can’t help it because they’re so busy, or that the meeting isn’t a productive use of their time. If they say that, then that’s something you can then talk about. However, if they say nothing, you can go on to say that their practice of multitasking during your meeting makes you feel that they’re disengaged, uninterested, or otherwise unavailable to take part in the meeting you’ve planned. Don’t use emotionally-charged or judgmental words; don’t say they’re being rude or insensitive or that they should know better. Better: “When I see you engaging in tasks on your laptop during our meeting, I feel _____ because ______.” That’s not accusatory or disrespectful. No one can argue about what you’re entitled to feel.

This direct approach takes some courage. But I predict that if you don’t do something different that the behavior will continue or worsen. Electronic communication has brought us all closer together but has also enabled people to disengage from situations they don’t like. Some people use their electronic devices for escape. Some are afraid that they may miss something. And in some cases, other people may expect them to be on an electronic leash, available all the time. I believe our culture suffers when we can’t focus on deep learning and building trusting relationships. Don’t give up. Keep working on this. I think that with a direct approach that you can change the behavior without whining, begging, bullying, or belittling. – Dr. Laura Hills, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com

Practical Guidelines for Communicating Ethically at Work

by Dr. Laura Hills, President, Blue Pencil Institute (www.bluepencilinstitute.com)

Practicing ethicalshutterstock_9551143 communication at work isn’t always the easiest way to live. Often, you’ll find it easier to say nothing rather than to tell the truth. However, ethical communication means being truthful and upfront and saying what needs to be said, even when that’s difficult. Fabricating false information is clearly unethical, but so, too, is exaggerating or omitting important information that others need to know.

Ethical communication expresses care and respect for others. Everyone in your workplace deserves to be respected, regardless of the individual’s job, socioeconomic status, gender, race, age, or other characteristics. Communicate with others in ways that demonstrate that respect. And, don’t tolerate communication from others that degrades individuals and humanity through the expression of intolerance and hatred.

Career professionals who practice ethical communication also support others as they share information, opinions, and feelings. Be a person who supports diversity of perspective and freedom of expression in your workplace. Believe wholeheartedly that unethical communication threatens the well-being of others and the integrity of all communication in your workplace. Be a thoughtful listener and keep an open mind to those around you.

Badmouthing your employer or colleagues is unethical communication. Even after work hours, you need to be very careful about what you say about your employer and to whom. Avoid negative communication about your workplace in a public place where your conversation may be overheard. The most ethical behavior is to keep your thoughts to yourself or to address important matters directly with the individuals involved, at appropriate times, in an appropriate place, and in appropriate ways.

Finally, a career professional who communicates ethically maintains confidentiality. Once you’ve agreed to work in your profession or your place of business, you’ve also agreed to abide by certain policies and procedures for maintaining confidentiality. Breaching these rules, except with prior and appropriate permission and under very special circumstances, is unethical communication and carries with it severe consequences. You have an ethical duty not only to keep things confidential by not sharing them wrongfully, but also, to safeguard confidentiality by making sure you’re not overheard and by keeping documents from wandering eyes.  Be careful when handling confidential documents or computer files to ensure that others without need don’t have access to the information. Close doors, keep your voice low, and do whatever else you must do to ensure confidentiality.

What’s That You Say? Seven Tips for Active Listening

shutterstock_94885411By Dr. Laura Hills, President, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com

Most career professionals engage in conversation throughout much if not all of the day. Read the suggestions below for listening actively in conversation and then try to implement them when you converse with clients and colleagues later today or the next day you come to work. You may be surprised by the effort active listening requires, as well as by the positive results you achieve by listening actively.

1. Don’t listen only to yourself. Conversation is a way for two or more people to give and take ideas. It is not an opportunity to express your views without listening actively to others.

2. Listen carefully to questions you’re asked so you’re sure that you understand them completely before you give your answers. Ask the interrogator to rephrase or explain a question if you have any doubts about its meaning. Or, say this before you give your answer: “Let me see if I understand your question. You want to know (rephrase it).” Then let the other person agree or disagree with your interpretation of the question before you begin your answer.

3. Don’t engage in side conversation or other activities while someone you should be listening to is talking. Don’t multitask. Focus on listening.

4. Make it apparent that you are listening by facing the speaker and looking engaged. Don’t let your eyes or your attention wander. Force yourself to listen, even when it is difficult to do so.

5. Keep your mind open and flexible. However, continue to be critical of what the other person is saying. Don’t accept blindly whatever your speaking partner suggests. Look for the information that is missing from his or her argument, and also be alert to assumptions and opinions.

6. Look for hidden meanings. People may try to conceal their true thoughts from you. If you feel that someone is keeping the truth from you, ask, “Oh?” or “What do you mean?” in an even, non-threatening tone. Examples of clients’ comments that may have hidden meanings: “That’s pretty expensive,” “I’m a terrible client,” “Following your advice/meeting your deadline is going to be pretty tough,” and “I’ve always been lazy/mistrustful/cheap”. Don’t assume you know what the client means when they say such things to you. Ask for clarification.

7. Ask the speaker to repeat anything you miss or that confuses you. Do this even if the person who is speaking is difficult to understand due to an accent, speech mannerism, or speech impediment. Also, ask the speaker to repeat himself or herself when background noise is interfering with your listening or if the speaker mutters or leaves out important information. Be polite when you ask for a repetition. Smile appropriately. Be very clear that you either could not hear the speaker or understand him or her. Let the speaker know that you “get it” after the repetition, either verbally or with a head nod.

Why I Love Deadlines

deadlineBy Jessica Johnson*, Guest Blogger

I love deadlines. Really, I do. Is it because I love to work? I’d much rather play. Is it because I like crossing things off my to-do list? Well, yes, though if doing so involves work,  then not so much. The reason I love deadlines is because I would be lost without them. And I hate being lost.

I have a long list of successes on my resume, though I am a procrastinator, a fact that often leaves me heavily burdened with an anxiety caused by the combination of listlessness and stress. But if it were not for deadlines, I’m sure I would never do anything that actually requires deep thought and concentration, wasting my talents and abilities in the daily minutia of keeping up.

Despite my affliction, I love learning and reading and any kind of word puzzles, art, and writing. I’ve always loved school and that continued into college. In addition to my coursework, and perhaps more so, what turned me on was reaching milestones as I went: crossing off the classes I attended, passing a midterm, finishing a course.

Checking the student handbook to track my progress became a tangible way to see how many credits I needed to graduate, which classes I had to take when, and when each semester began and ended. I loved receiving a syllabus the first day of class and deciphering how long I had until the first test, the final, and the next break! That way I could schedule my time, mark my calendar, and have concrete things that I could cross off my list toward a goal.

In college, except for in the case of an emergency, when a semester ends, it ends, it’s over. If you don’t show up for the final and you’re not on life support in a hospital somewhere, you’re out of luck. Having these strict deadlines allowed me to work toward small manageable goals and each time I accomplished one I felt stronger, smarter, more capable, and more confident to achieve the next. At first I finished one class, then one semester, then a year. Before I knew it I not only had my bachelors, but a masters, both of which I passed with flying colors! Then something awful happened… I got a job.

I didn’t get just any old job, I got a job with a private company as a contractor to the United States intelligence community. As a contractor, or consultant, you work for a private company, and your client may be a government agency. You may be on site with that agency and the client boss tasks you, but you also have a company boss. For a young person it can be very confusing to navigate who’s in charge, who you take orders from, what are your priorities, and how you manage your time. For your client you may be just another employee, but for your company you are also in business development, urged to create jobs to do for your client.

As a new young contractor I worked for a company and had two different clients that I would go see every day spending the morning with one client and the afternoon with another. So, essentially, I had three bosses and three related, but different missions. And no one helped me in a way that actually, well, helped!

It was my job to figure out what kind of projects my customers needed, design those projects, and create a schedule for work and delivery. My company bosses kept asking me for a project deadline. I would think and think and try to figure out exactly what it was I was supposed to be doing and then how on earth I was supposed to draft a schedule for this project and when would be a reasonable expectation for it to be delivered, but I didn’t even know what my clients really needed or wanted — and how could I? I had no experience and  no one modeled to me how to figure it out.

Defeated, I could no longer put off the inevitable, and I admitted to my company boss that I was lost, lost in time, without a deadline and without the necessary understanding to create one. Then she told me something that changed my world: She told me that in government and sometimes in private industry that deadlines are not absolute. Coming from academia, this was a completely foreign concept to me. In school, classes begin in September and you have so many weeks to complete the coursework and take the final. End of discussion. But apparently in matters of national security, delivery schedules are a little bit more flexible. And if the government is the party setting the deadline, good luck with that! I came to learn that when dealing with the government, expect the delivery date of never and anything before never, consider early!

When providing a product to government, and anyone for that matter, I now set a deadline that I believe is reasonable. I’ve learned that if after every attempt to meet that deadline I find that the deadline is unrealistic, I can work with the client to adjust the delivery schedule reasonably. In most cases, that is acceptable. This blew my mind and to be honest, there’s still a part of it that blows my mind today. I do just about everything to meet a deadline, and rarely do I come up short, which sadly, seems to be the exception in business, not the rule. But now I understand that many business people are accustomed to changing deadlines, which has allowed me to create deadlines, even when I’m not 100% sure what I’m doing; I can figure it out along the way–and I do!

*Jessica Johnson is a social media consultant, writer, teacher, fashionista, and anti-human trafficking activist. She is currently focused on promoting ethical fashion, and works as as a fashion and brand management consultant for her companies EtreFaire and Trafficklight Consulting. She’d love you to share with her on Twitter at @etrefairshop, @Trafficklight, or @Jessica_in_NOVA; on Pinterest at EtreFaire (http://pinterest.com/etrefaire/?d) and at Jessica Johnson (http://pinterest.com/trafficklight/?d); or email her at etrefaireshop@gmail.com.

A Bad Handshake Is Like a Bad Kiss: Don’t Be a Wimp or a Bone Crusher

shutterstock_57031984A great professional handshake says welcome, communicates confidence and friendship, and initiates physical contact. It is an invaluable and essential tool for establishing and fostering business relationships. A wimpy or too-firm handshake, on the other hand, has the opposite effect. It makes others feel uneasy and insecure and sometimes, awkward – sort of like a bad kiss at the end of a first date.

Here are seven steps to help you shake hands like a pro:

1.    Be prepared for a handshake by keeping your right hand free when someone is scheduled to enter your office or when you know you’ll be meeting someone.

2.    Keep your hand warm and dry. A few squeezes or rubbing before the handshake should help.

3.    Don’t wear large rings on your right hand.

4.    Always stand to shake hands.

5.    Establish eye contact and smile.

6.    Extend your right arm and open your hand fully. Take a firm hold of the other person’s hand – the whole hand, not just the fingertips. Establish palm-to-palm contact.

7.    Give a couple of good, firm two- to six-inch shakes. Keep smiling and keep the eye contact going. Then release your hand.

Tip: Try to exert the same squeeze pressure as the other person. However, if he or she offers you a limp hand, exert a bit more pressure but not enough to be uncomfortable.

Every career professional should be able to shake hands with ease and confidence. Share these handshake how-to’s with your employees and colleagues. If you feel that you’d benefit from doing some more work on your handshake and from receiving some feedback, set aside time to review these tips and to practice shaking hands at your next staff meeting. — Dr. Laura Hills, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com

Are You a Broom, Waffler or Butterfly? The 10 Worst Roles to Play on a Team

shutterstock_18113221There are a number of roles that individuals typically play on teams, many of which are positive. For example, positive team roles may be to encourage, to stimulate outside-of-the-box thinking, to facilitate clear communication, to broker compromise between team members, to keep the team organized and on track, to summarize key decisions or problems, and to keep morale high.

Unfortunately, some team roles can be destructive and selfish, so much so that they cut into the team’s effectiveness. Below are the 10 most destructive, selfish, and negative team roles to avoid:

•    Steamroller: Tries to dominate or constantly interrupts teammates.

•    Show Off: Thinks he or she knows all the answers. Brags about and exaggerates his or her team contributions and accomplishments.

•    Waffler: Can’t make a decision.

•    Butterfly: Keeps changing the topic and focus before others are ready.

•    Aggressor: Doesn’t show respect to teammates. Comments negatively about them. Dominates to get his or her way.

•    Broom: Sweeps unpleasant task or team relationship problems under a rug.

•    Critic: Sees the negative side to any argument but doesn’t suggest alternatives. Puts down others’ ideas.

•    Victim/Martyr: Looks for sympathy from others.

•    Self-Confessor: Uses the team as a forum for sharing inappropriate personal information.

•    Clown: Uses humor too much or inappropriately.

For more information on how to be an effective team player, check out our Pinterest board, “Being a Team Player: 50 Tips” at: http://pinterest.com/drlaurahills/being-a-team-player-50-tips/ — Dr. Laura Hills, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com