Tag Archives: focus

What to Do If You’re Bad with Names

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By Dr. Laura Hills, President, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com

Do you have troushutterstock_130174040 (2)ble remembering people’s names? If so, I hope you don’t tell people that you’re “terrible with names”. No one likes to hear that. And some people will be offended by such a remark, assuming that you’re self-absorbed and don’t care much about others.

I also hope that you don’t tell yourself that remembering people’s names is beyond your control, that it’s your lot in life to be bad at it, or that it’s just the way you are. Unless you’re physically, psychologically, or emotionally unable to remember names, that’s a bunch of hooey.

The best thing you can do if you think you’re bad at remembering names is to get rid of that notion and get better at it. Here’s how:

1.  Focus. Pay close attention when you’re introduced to someone new or when you greet him or her for the first time. If you don’t hear the person’s name clearly, say so right away and ask to have it repeated. Repeat it yourself if the pronunciation is difficult and ask the person to let you know if you’re saying it properly, even if it takes several go-rounds.

 TIp: Get the name right, no matter what. You can’t remember what you don’t know.

2.  Be more observant. Concentrate during the introduction and don’t allow your mind to wander. Observe the person carefully. Get a distinct impression of him or her. Try to discover outstanding physical or other distinguishing characteristics of the person, especially of his or her face. For example, note whether the person is tall, short, overweight, thin, the length and color of his or her hair, the shape of his or her face, complexion, etc.

3.  Repeat the person’s name silently to yourself several times. Also say the person’s name out loud at least once when you meet him or her. For example, “It is so nice to meet you, Mr. Gonzalez.

4.  Associate. If possible, associate the person’s name with a rhyme, song, or some other mnemonic device. For example, my last name is Hills. It would be easy for you to remember that if you associate my name with Beverly Hills.

5.  Write the person’s name within 24 hours of meeting him or her. The end of each day is a great time to do this. Look at the written name and recall the person’s face and distinguishing characteristics.

Tip: When meeting someone at a seminar or other program where name tags are worn, make a conscious effort to say the person’s name and read his or her name tag at the same time. That way, you’ll both visualize and verbalize the name.

What’s That You Say? Seven Tips for Active Listening

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shutterstock_94885411By Dr. Laura Hills, President, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com

Most career professionals engage in conversation throughout much if not all of the day. Read the suggestions below for listening actively in conversation and then try to implement them when you converse with clients and colleagues later today or the next day you come to work. You may be surprised by the effort active listening requires, as well as by the positive results you achieve by listening actively.

1. Don’t listen only to yourself. Conversation is a way for two or more people to give and take ideas. It is not an opportunity to express your views without listening actively to others.

2. Listen carefully to questions you’re asked so you’re sure that you understand them completely before you give your answers. Ask the interrogator to rephrase or explain a question if you have any doubts about its meaning. Or, say this before you give your answer: “Let me see if I understand your question. You want to know (rephrase it).” Then let the other person agree or disagree with your interpretation of the question before you begin your answer.

3. Don’t engage in side conversation or other activities while someone you should be listening to is talking. Don’t multitask. Focus on listening.

4. Make it apparent that you are listening by facing the speaker and looking engaged. Don’t let your eyes or your attention wander. Force yourself to listen, even when it is difficult to do so.

5. Keep your mind open and flexible. However, continue to be critical of what the other person is saying. Don’t accept blindly whatever your speaking partner suggests. Look for the information that is missing from his or her argument, and also be alert to assumptions and opinions.

6. Look for hidden meanings. People may try to conceal their true thoughts from you. If you feel that someone is keeping the truth from you, ask, “Oh?” or “What do you mean?” in an even, non-threatening tone. Examples of clients’ comments that may have hidden meanings: “That’s pretty expensive,” “I’m a terrible client,” “Following your advice/meeting your deadline is going to be pretty tough,” and “I’ve always been lazy/mistrustful/cheap”. Don’t assume you know what the client means when they say such things to you. Ask for clarification.

7. Ask the speaker to repeat anything you miss or that confuses you. Do this even if the person who is speaking is difficult to understand due to an accent, speech mannerism, or speech impediment. Also, ask the speaker to repeat himself or herself when background noise is interfering with your listening or if the speaker mutters or leaves out important information. Be polite when you ask for a repetition. Smile appropriately. Be very clear that you either could not hear the speaker or understand him or her. Let the speaker know that you “get it” after the repetition, either verbally or with a head nod.

So You Think You Can Multitask? Try This!

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shutterstock_4842088By Dr. Laura Hills, President, Blue Pencil Institute

If you’re reading this while participating in a webinar, eating a sandwich, and periodically checking your email, please stop! Multitasking will ultimately reduce your productivity, strain your focus, and produce poorer results, for two reasons:

  1. No one can actually perform several cognitive tasks simultaneously. Rather, multitaskers quickly switch from one task to the other. Therefore, all things being equal, multitasking should be no faster than single tasking.
  2. Bearing this point in mind, it would seem that a person would require a certain amount of time to switch from one task to the other. Even if that time is tiny, it will ultimately add up after numerous switches from task to task. This would suggest that multitasking is actually slower than tackling one task at a time.

If you don’t believe this, try this exercise and see for yourself. Take out a blank piece of paper and write the word multitasking in upper case letters. Then, below the word, write the numbers 1-12, one number beneath each letter, like this:

M   U   L   T   I   T   A   S   K   I    N    G

1    2   3   4   5   6   7   8    9  10  11  12

 You did that relatively quickly and easily, right?

Now turn the paper over. You will write the word multitasking and the numbers 1-12 again. But this time, you’ll do it by multitasking. Do not write the whole word. Rather, switch back and forth between writing the word and writing the numbers beneath it. Begin by writing the m and then beneath it, the 1. Then write the u and beneath it the number 2. Then write the L and beneath it the number 3, etc. Ready? Don’t look at your previous work or these instructions. Now, go ahead and try it.

That was considerably more difficult and took much longer, didn’t it? Switching back and forth between writing a word and writing a sequence of numbers cut your productivity and probably, created some strain. Remember this exercise the next time you’re tempted to multitask. In the long run, you’ll find that focusing on a single task will make you better and faster at it – and far less stressed.

 

How I Ate My Elephant

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ForkQuestion: How do you eat an elephant?  Answer: One bite at a time.

In the late 1990s, I told a friend that I was planning to go to graduate school and she told me that I’d obviously lost my mind. She said it was insanity to undertake my plan to take one course at a time while I worked and raised my children so that I could go from bachelor’s degree to doctorate. Instead, she suggested that I join a book club. My friend told me, too, that I’d be in my 50s by the time I’d be done, as though that would be a tragedy. Well, she was right about that much. I graduated 11 years later with my doctorate at the age of 53. But you know what? I was hoping to be 53 that year either way. I figured that if I was going to live to be 53 that I’d rather be 53 with a doctorate than to be 53 without one. And of course, I was right.

You can’t imagine the pride I felt when I walked into my graduation ceremony in May of 2010. There I was, decked out in my academic robes from head to toe, marching before my children and husband to the strains of Pomp and Circumstance, to take a seat in the front row of a huge graduation. More than 8,000 people packed the arena. My children witnessed their mother being called to the stage. They heard my name announced. And they watched me as I was hooded and as I accepted my diploma. Would I do it all again? In a heartbeat.

They say that the way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. After 11 years of graduate school, I can say that this is true. The key for me was not to put all of my focus on the enormity of my elephant. If I’d done that, I’d have probably given up along the way, or, as my friend suggested, I might have joined a book club instead. Focus on the bites that you can manage, just as I focused on one course at a time. If you stick with it, you’ll find a way to eat your elephant just as I did mine — trunk, tail, and all. – Dr. Laura Hills, President, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com