Tag Archives: goals

Why Was Mike Rice His Own Worst Enemy?

By Dr. Laura Hills, President, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com

My beloved RutgeMike Ricers University is limping along these days, doing its best to clean up the mess caused by the outrageous behavior of recently-fired basketball coach Mike Rice. I am troubled. And I say this both as an alumnus of this fine university, and as the parent of a child who is a student there right now. I question how Mr. Rice’s behavior was permitted at an institution of higher learning. And I am saddened as I contemplate yet another person in a position of authority who has misused that power. From what I can tell, Mr. Rice had a fantastic coaching opportunity that many would envy. But he blew it, and he did so completely through his own fault.  Mr. Rice’s poor self-control has cost him his job and has undoubtedly hurt the students he worked with and the people in his life who care about him. I can’t help but think: Why was Mike Rice his own worst enemy?

Blue Pencil Power Question™: What do you do to sabotage yourself and your goals?

We all aspire to accomplishing great things in our lives. But long-term goals require long-term commitment and sacrifice. We must delay gratification, stay in control, and often do the hard thing because doing so will ultimately get us where we want to be. Certainly, we can act in the moment to satisfy our anger, ambition, greed, vanity, ego, or lust. But giving in to our urges can and often does sabotage us so that we will never achieve our bigger goals.

It is a great relief to lash out when we’re upset. But we are more than our urges. We live for today but we must also live for tomorrow, because there will always be one. As we think about our behaviors and our goals, each of us needs to focus on what we need to do right now and every day – and what we must not do — so that we can live our values and our dreams and be a person others can respect.

Why I Love Deadlines

deadlineBy Jessica Johnson*, Guest Blogger

I love deadlines. Really, I do. Is it because I love to work? I’d much rather play. Is it because I like crossing things off my to-do list? Well, yes, though if doing so involves work,  then not so much. The reason I love deadlines is because I would be lost without them. And I hate being lost.

I have a long list of successes on my resume, though I am a procrastinator, a fact that often leaves me heavily burdened with an anxiety caused by the combination of listlessness and stress. But if it were not for deadlines, I’m sure I would never do anything that actually requires deep thought and concentration, wasting my talents and abilities in the daily minutia of keeping up.

Despite my affliction, I love learning and reading and any kind of word puzzles, art, and writing. I’ve always loved school and that continued into college. In addition to my coursework, and perhaps more so, what turned me on was reaching milestones as I went: crossing off the classes I attended, passing a midterm, finishing a course.

Checking the student handbook to track my progress became a tangible way to see how many credits I needed to graduate, which classes I had to take when, and when each semester began and ended. I loved receiving a syllabus the first day of class and deciphering how long I had until the first test, the final, and the next break! That way I could schedule my time, mark my calendar, and have concrete things that I could cross off my list toward a goal.

In college, except for in the case of an emergency, when a semester ends, it ends, it’s over. If you don’t show up for the final and you’re not on life support in a hospital somewhere, you’re out of luck. Having these strict deadlines allowed me to work toward small manageable goals and each time I accomplished one I felt stronger, smarter, more capable, and more confident to achieve the next. At first I finished one class, then one semester, then a year. Before I knew it I not only had my bachelors, but a masters, both of which I passed with flying colors! Then something awful happened… I got a job.

I didn’t get just any old job, I got a job with a private company as a contractor to the United States intelligence community. As a contractor, or consultant, you work for a private company, and your client may be a government agency. You may be on site with that agency and the client boss tasks you, but you also have a company boss. For a young person it can be very confusing to navigate who’s in charge, who you take orders from, what are your priorities, and how you manage your time. For your client you may be just another employee, but for your company you are also in business development, urged to create jobs to do for your client.

As a new young contractor I worked for a company and had two different clients that I would go see every day spending the morning with one client and the afternoon with another. So, essentially, I had three bosses and three related, but different missions. And no one helped me in a way that actually, well, helped!

It was my job to figure out what kind of projects my customers needed, design those projects, and create a schedule for work and delivery. My company bosses kept asking me for a project deadline. I would think and think and try to figure out exactly what it was I was supposed to be doing and then how on earth I was supposed to draft a schedule for this project and when would be a reasonable expectation for it to be delivered, but I didn’t even know what my clients really needed or wanted — and how could I? I had no experience and  no one modeled to me how to figure it out.

Defeated, I could no longer put off the inevitable, and I admitted to my company boss that I was lost, lost in time, without a deadline and without the necessary understanding to create one. Then she told me something that changed my world: She told me that in government and sometimes in private industry that deadlines are not absolute. Coming from academia, this was a completely foreign concept to me. In school, classes begin in September and you have so many weeks to complete the coursework and take the final. End of discussion. But apparently in matters of national security, delivery schedules are a little bit more flexible. And if the government is the party setting the deadline, good luck with that! I came to learn that when dealing with the government, expect the delivery date of never and anything before never, consider early!

When providing a product to government, and anyone for that matter, I now set a deadline that I believe is reasonable. I’ve learned that if after every attempt to meet that deadline I find that the deadline is unrealistic, I can work with the client to adjust the delivery schedule reasonably. In most cases, that is acceptable. This blew my mind and to be honest, there’s still a part of it that blows my mind today. I do just about everything to meet a deadline, and rarely do I come up short, which sadly, seems to be the exception in business, not the rule. But now I understand that many business people are accustomed to changing deadlines, which has allowed me to create deadlines, even when I’m not 100% sure what I’m doing; I can figure it out along the way–and I do!

*Jessica Johnson is a social media consultant, writer, teacher, fashionista, and anti-human trafficking activist. She is currently focused on promoting ethical fashion, and works as as a fashion and brand management consultant for her companies EtreFaire and Trafficklight Consulting. She’d love you to share with her on Twitter at @etrefairshop, @Trafficklight, or @Jessica_in_NOVA; on Pinterest at EtreFaire (http://pinterest.com/etrefaire/?d) and at Jessica Johnson (http://pinterest.com/trafficklight/?d); or email her at etrefaireshop@gmail.com.

How I Ate My Elephant

ForkQuestion: How do you eat an elephant?  Answer: One bite at a time.

In the late 1990s, I told a friend that I was planning to go to graduate school and she told me that I’d obviously lost my mind. She said it was insanity to undertake my plan to take one course at a time while I worked and raised my children so that I could go from bachelor’s degree to doctorate. Instead, she suggested that I join a book club. My friend told me, too, that I’d be in my 50s by the time I’d be done, as though that would be a tragedy. Well, she was right about that much. I graduated 11 years later with my doctorate at the age of 53. But you know what? I was hoping to be 53 that year either way. I figured that if I was going to live to be 53 that I’d rather be 53 with a doctorate than to be 53 without one. And of course, I was right.

You can’t imagine the pride I felt when I walked into my graduation ceremony in May of 2010. There I was, decked out in my academic robes from head to toe, marching before my children and husband to the strains of Pomp and Circumstance, to take a seat in the front row of a huge graduation. More than 8,000 people packed the arena. My children witnessed their mother being called to the stage. They heard my name announced. And they watched me as I was hooded and as I accepted my diploma. Would I do it all again? In a heartbeat.

They say that the way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. After 11 years of graduate school, I can say that this is true. The key for me was not to put all of my focus on the enormity of my elephant. If I’d done that, I’d have probably given up along the way, or, as my friend suggested, I might have joined a book club instead. Focus on the bites that you can manage, just as I focused on one course at a time. If you stick with it, you’ll find a way to eat your elephant just as I did mine — trunk, tail, and all. – Dr. Laura Hills, President, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com