Tag Archives: values

Focus on Having the Best of It

By Dr. Laura Hills, President, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com

 

Are you in a job shutterstock_65135377or other situation that’s hugely stressful? Many people will give you advice about managing your stress. They’ll tell you take daily walks, practice deep breathing exercises, eat the right foods, avoid caffeine, meditate, soak in a hot tub, and so on. In fact, those practices may actually help. But sometimes, no matter what you do, you won’t be able to get rid of the headaches, backaches, insomnia, digestive problems, and other symptoms of your stress. This will be the case when your job or other situation goes against your values, serves no greater purpose, or compromises your well-being and self-esteem. If you’re stuck in a stressful situation that doesn’t make sense, refocus not on making the best of it, but on having the best of it. Look for or create a new opportunity that will be a better fit to your needs, one that will also be more meaningful and personally rewarding. If you’re asking yourself how you can best muddle along, think: Is that the right question to be asking?

Don’t focus on making the best of it.

Focus on HAVING the best of it — and how you’re going to make that happen.

 

Why Was Mike Rice His Own Worst Enemy?

By Dr. Laura Hills, President, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com

My beloved RutgeMike Ricers University is limping along these days, doing its best to clean up the mess caused by the outrageous behavior of recently-fired basketball coach Mike Rice. I am troubled. And I say this both as an alumnus of this fine university, and as the parent of a child who is a student there right now. I question how Mr. Rice’s behavior was permitted at an institution of higher learning. And I am saddened as I contemplate yet another person in a position of authority who has misused that power. From what I can tell, Mr. Rice had a fantastic coaching opportunity that many would envy. But he blew it, and he did so completely through his own fault.  Mr. Rice’s poor self-control has cost him his job and has undoubtedly hurt the students he worked with and the people in his life who care about him. I can’t help but think: Why was Mike Rice his own worst enemy?

Blue Pencil Power Question™: What do you do to sabotage yourself and your goals?

We all aspire to accomplishing great things in our lives. But long-term goals require long-term commitment and sacrifice. We must delay gratification, stay in control, and often do the hard thing because doing so will ultimately get us where we want to be. Certainly, we can act in the moment to satisfy our anger, ambition, greed, vanity, ego, or lust. But giving in to our urges can and often does sabotage us so that we will never achieve our bigger goals.

It is a great relief to lash out when we’re upset. But we are more than our urges. We live for today but we must also live for tomorrow, because there will always be one. As we think about our behaviors and our goals, each of us needs to focus on what we need to do right now and every day – and what we must not do — so that we can live our values and our dreams and be a person others can respect.

Answer These 12 Questions to Decide If Something is Ethical

shutterstock_6308023At some point in your professional or personal life, you may face a difficult challenge and wonder whether what you are considering to do or not do is ethical. It can be very difficult to balance multiple points of view and competing demands to come up with an ethical decision. And, in life, we often find ourselves in an ethical gray zone or feel that no one answer is clearly the most ethical.

Below is a set of 12 questions you can work through when you find yourself in difficult situations such as these. Use these questions to help you consider all of the sides of the dilemma and the ethical consequences of what you are considering to do or not do.

1.    What are the potential consequences or outcomes of this  action or decision?

2.    Who will benefit?  How and to what extent?

3.    Who might suffer? How and to what extent?

4.    What is my motivation personally for doing this?

5.    What is my motivation for my business or employer for doing this?

6.    Is it legal? Or, might there be legal consequences?

7.    Would I like to see this on the front page of the newspaper or on the six o’clock television news?

8.    Will this increase or decrease my respect for myself?

9.    Will this increase or decrease the respect others feel for me?

10. Does his feel right in my body? Does it cause my stomach to tie in knots? Am I losing sleep over it? Do I have clammy hands? Tension headaches? Other physical symptoms that indicate that this doesn’t feel right to me.

11. Does this decision support or damage our business’s culture and values? Would I want this done or said to me? Would I want to be treated this way by another person or by another business?

12. If I told this to the most ethical person I know, what would he or she advise me to do? Would my mentor or hero approve?

For more information about our personal and professional development products, programs, and coaching services, please visit our website at www.bluepencilinstitute.com. — Dr. Laura Hills, President, Blue Pencil Institute