Category Archives: Professional Image

On the Passing of My Role Model and Hero, Dr. Joyce Brothers

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By Dr. Laura Hills, President, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com

I’m feeling a little glum today because my role model and hero, Dr. Joyce Brothers, died yesterday. She was 85. I actually had the chance to visit with Dr. Brothers in her home in Fort Lee, New Jersey in February of 2012. I’m so glad I got to do that and to tell her what she meant to me.

Many people have asked me why Dr. Joyce Brothers (the television psychologist, author, and columnist) was so important in my life. You have to understand that Dr. Brothers was rare if not unique among the women I encountered on television and in movies (or even in my real life) as a young girl growing up in the 1960s. She was a popular television personality at that time, known primarily for her intelligence and her knowledge. But she was also poised, charming, and attractive. And it wasn’t lost on me that she was introduced and referred to as “Dr. Joyce Brothers” always, and that she was accorded great respect by everyone. I wanted to grow up to be just like her — smart, knowledgeable, poised, respected, attractive, charming, and “doctor”.

Today, we see so many different kinds of women on television and in movies. But I grew up in the pre-Oprah generation. The women I encountered back then were for the most part depicted as pretty and evil or daring (Catwoman, Agent 99, Mrs. Peale, Bond women), pretty and stupid (take your pick — there were loads of them, with Gracie Allen leading the way), pretty and a housewife (Donna Read, Jane Wyatt, Barbara Billingsley, Mary Tyler Moore) or smart and unattractive (like Nancy Culp as Jane Hathaway on the Beverly Hillbillies). In my real life, I knew housewives, nurses, teachers, and sales clerks. I didn’t know a single woman who was referred to as “doctor”.

Dr. Brothers didn’t fit into any category I knew. She was real and she was super smart, accomplished, and pretty. Her example was powerful. I decided as a girl that someday that I would be “doctor” too, just like her, and known for my intelligence, knowledge, charm, and attractiveness.

I watched an interview with Warren Buffet last week, who said that if we told him our heroes, he could tell us who we would turn out to be. I thought immediately that I chose well in Dr. Joyce Brothers. For this little girl with big dreams growing up in suburbia, Dr. Joyce Brothers showed me what I could be, what I could do with my life, that yes, that I could be “doctor” too. I am grateful for the influence she has had in my life.

How Professional Are You at Work? A Self-Quiz

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By Dr. Laura Hills, President, Blue Pencil Institute (www.bluepencilinstitute.com)

The following characteristics relate to professionalism in the workplace. Answer these questions to see if you exhibit a high degree of professionalism.  Answer yes if you demonstrate these characteristics or behaviors at least 90% of the time.

1. Do you have all the skills required to be successful at your job? If not, are you in the process of learning them?

2. Do you communicate well with others?

3. Do your managers deem your behavior to be professional? Does your manager approve of your attire, the hours you keep, the way you conduct yourself in general? Does he or she seem comfortable coming to you with special projects or to discuss problems or ideas?

4. Do you have a high level of integrity?  Do you tell the truth at work? Do you see tasks through to completion and avoid cutting corners?

5. Do you practice the Golden Rule? A true professional treats others with respect and expects the same from them. Do you return borrowed items right away and in good order when you’re done using them?

6. Do you live up to your commitments? In any job, you agree to do certain tasks. Some tasks you must do routinely, without being asked and your employer may ask you to take on other responsibilities. A real test of your professionalism comes in your ability to meet all these commitments while upholding the standards of quality and timeliness set by your employer. Individuals  with a high degree of professionalism make promises to themselves and to others about what they will and won’t do. They keep those promises.

7. Do you report to work at the agreed-upon time (or early), ready to work, and with a cooperative and positive attitude? Do you willingly pitch in during times of staffing or other crises?

8. Do you avoid conducting personal business while at work?

9. Do you take full responsibility for the results of your efforts and actions?

10. Do you continually seek self-improvement and self-awareness by looking for opportunities to enhance your professional growth?

11. Do you keep confidential information confidential?

12. Do you take pride and satisfaction in the work you do?

13. Do you participate in one or more professional organizations?

Annette Funicello Was One of Kind

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By Dr. Laura Hills, President, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com

 

I was saddened to learn of the passing of Annette Funicello on Monday. I first encountered her in the 1960s when I’d watch reruns of “The Mickey Mouse Club”.  I looked up to her then because she I was an awkward, gangly girl and she was older and so much more mature and poised. I wanted to be just like her. A few years later, one of my guilty pleasures was watching Annette Funicello in those terrible beach movies with Frankie Avalon. Later, I admired Ms. Funicello as she faced her life with Multiple Sclerosis with so much dignity. But what stands out to me upon her passing is that Annette Funicello was truly one of a kind. I can’t think of anyone else like her. She had a personal brand. And certainly, in a time when stage names were the norm, you’ve got to admire a girl who went into show business with the name Funicello. She was as memorable and unique as her name.

 

Blue Pencil Power Question™: What is unique about you?

 

We live in a world of cookie cutter celebrities, fashion knock-offs, and subdivision homes. But as much as we want to fit in by having the latest gadget or by wearing the color of the season, we also have a need to express our individuality.  Self-branding occurs when we create a purposeful emotional response when others hear our name, see us online, or meet us in person. And the most successful people have a unique self-brand. They are not carbon copies of others, but rather, uniquely themselves.

 

Most everyone wants to fit in. That’s OK. But be careful not to lose the very thing that is different — and therefore special — about you. Use your uniqueness. Cherish and embrace it. Think about what you can do to make yourself memorable. People will have an opinion of you no matter what you do. But a unique personal brand directs how others perceive you. Don’t strive to be a generic or poor man’s version of someone else. Find what is unique about you and celebrate it.

Is Your Attire Hurting Your Career?

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By Dr. Laura Hills, President, Blue Pencil Institute (www.bluepencilinstitute.com)

Here are five signs that what you wear to work may be hurting your career:

  1. Your boss has told you explicitly that you need to wear more professional attire.
  2. Someone in your office feels compelled to remind you to “dress nicely” for important meetings and special events.
  3. A coworker with equal or lesser skills but a nicer wardrobe was promoted over you.
  4. On those odd days when you do take a little extra time with your professional attire, your coworkers want to know if you’re going on a job interview or if something else is happening to you.
  5. You keep asking to be considered for a more visible role in your organization but you are not offered those opportunities.

Does any of this sound familiar? If so, your attire may be having a negative effect on your career. Whether you like it or not, you may have to make some wardrobe changes in order to achieve your career goals.

Tip: Notice what the most successful people in your organization wear to work and emulate them. Dress for the job or level of position you want, not the one you have now.

A Bad Handshake Is Like a Bad Kiss: Don’t Be a Wimp or a Bone Crusher

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A great professional handshake says welcome, communicates confidence and friendship, and initiates physical contact. It is an invaluable and essential tool for establishing and fostering business relationships. A wimpy or too-firm handshake, on the other hand, has the opposite effect. It makes others feel uneasy and insecure and sometimes, awkward – sort of like a bad kiss at the end of a first date.

Here are seven steps to help you shake hands like a pro:

1.    Be prepared for a handshake by keeping your right hand free when someone is scheduled to enter your office or when you know you’ll be meeting someone.

2.    Keep your hand warm and dry. A few squeezes or rubbing before the handshake should help.

3.    Don’t wear large rings on your right hand.

4.    Always stand to shake hands.

5.    Establish eye contact and smile.

6.    Extend your right arm and open your hand fully. Take a firm hold of the other person’s hand – the whole hand, not just the fingertips. Establish palm-to-palm contact.

7.    Give a couple of good, firm two- to six-inch shakes. Keep smiling and keep the eye contact going. Then release your hand.

Tip: Try to exert the same squeeze pressure as the other person. However, if he or she offers you a limp hand, exert a bit more pressure but not enough to be uncomfortable.

Every career professional should be able to shake hands with ease and confidence. Share these handshake how-to’s with your employees and colleagues. If you feel that you’d benefit from doing some more work on your handshake and from receiving some feedback, set aside time to review these tips and to practice shaking hands at your next staff meeting. — Dr. Laura Hills, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com

Are You a Broom, Waffler or Butterfly? The 10 Worst Roles to Play on a Team

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There are a number of roles that individuals typically play on teams, many of which are positive. For example, positive team roles may be to encourage, to stimulate outside-of-the-box thinking, to facilitate clear communication, to broker compromise between team members, to keep the team organized and on track, to summarize key decisions or problems, and to keep morale high.

Unfortunately, some team roles can be destructive and selfish, so much so that they cut into the team’s effectiveness. Below are the 10 most destructive, selfish, and negative team roles to avoid:

•    Steamroller: Tries to dominate or constantly interrupts teammates.

•    Show Off: Thinks he or she knows all the answers. Brags about and exaggerates his or her team contributions and accomplishments.

•    Waffler: Can’t make a decision.

•    Butterfly: Keeps changing the topic and focus before others are ready.

•    Aggressor: Doesn’t show respect to teammates. Comments negatively about them. Dominates to get his or her way.

•    Broom: Sweeps unpleasant task or team relationship problems under a rug.

•    Critic: Sees the negative side to any argument but doesn’t suggest alternatives. Puts down others’ ideas.

•    Victim/Martyr: Looks for sympathy from others.

•    Self-Confessor: Uses the team as a forum for sharing inappropriate personal information.

•    Clown: Uses humor too much or inappropriately.

For more information on how to be an effective team player, check out our Pinterest board, “Being a Team Player: 50 Tips” at: http://pinterest.com/drlaurahills/being-a-team-player-50-tips/ — Dr. Laura Hills, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com

Are You Hearing Voices? If So, What Are They Saying? Daily Affirmations for Developing a Habit of Excellence

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Most of us engage in self-talk for more than half of our waking hours. The question is: What are we saying to ourselves? Negative self-talk runs rampant for many of us and is usually a mixture of half-truths, poor logic, distortions of reality, and an unbalanced focus on a problem.

We are not born with negative self-talk; we learn it.  That means that we can un-learn it, too. We can change our thinking and our actions by the messages we tell ourselves. Pay attention to your language in your self-talk today. Notice when you begin to think negatively and to lace your self-talk with can’ts, won’ts, and shouldn’ts. Stop yourself. Then speak only of positive thoughts and possibilities. Use language of abundance, prosperity, and excellence.

For example, whenever you begin to tell yourself something negative, replace the thought with daily affirmations like the ones below. These will help you develop and cement your own personal habit of excellence:

1.    What I do every day matters.
2.    People can count on me.
3.    I expect the best of myself.
4.    I am worth investing in.
5.    I want to learn new things.
6.    I will do good things for myself every day.
7.    I will stay in control of my papers, things, and workspace.
8.    I will aim higher and higher.
9.    I will embrace new challenges.
10.    I will succeed

For more information about developing a habit of personal excellence, check out Blue Pencil Institute’s 25 Rules for Being Excellent. On Pinterest:
http://pinterest.com/drlaurahills/being-excellent-25-tips/. – Dr. Laura Hills, President, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com

How I Ate My Elephant

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Question: How do you eat an elephant?  Answer: One bite at a time.

In the late 1990s, I told a friend that I was planning to go to graduate school and she told me that I’d obviously lost my mind. She said it was insanity to undertake my plan to take one course at a time while I worked and raised my children so that I could go from bachelor’s degree to doctorate. Instead, she suggested that I join a book club. My friend told me, too, that I’d be in my 50s by the time I’d be done, as though that would be a tragedy. Well, she was right about that much. I graduated 11 years later with my doctorate at the age of 53. But you know what? I was hoping to be 53 that year either way. I figured that if I was going to live to be 53 that I’d rather be 53 with a doctorate than to be 53 without one. And of course, I was right.

You can’t imagine the pride I felt when I walked into my graduation ceremony in May of 2010. There I was, decked out in my academic robes from head to toe, marching before my children and husband to the strains of Pomp and Circumstance, to take a seat in the front row of a huge graduation. More than 8,000 people packed the arena. My children witnessed their mother being called to the stage. They heard my name announced. And they watched me as I was hooded and as I accepted my diploma. Would I do it all again? In a heartbeat.

They say that the way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. After 11 years of graduate school, I can say that this is true. The key for me was not to put all of my focus on the enormity of my elephant. If I’d done that, I’d have probably given up along the way, or, as my friend suggested, I might have joined a book club instead. Focus on the bites that you can manage, just as I focused on one course at a time. If you stick with it, you’ll find a way to eat your elephant just as I did mine — trunk, tail, and all. – Dr. Laura Hills, President, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com

How Gauche! Take Our Quiz to Rate Your Workplace Etiquette

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Think you’ve got impeccable business manners? Why not find out? Take Blue Pencil Institute’s workplace etiquette quiz below to see if you’re a gracious and well-mannered career professional — or if your workplace manners are, shall we say, a little rough around the edges. Choose A, B, or C to respond to each statement below:

  1. A co-worker starts to tell you a story she heard about a co-worker’s private life. You:
    1. Diplomatically tell her you’re not interested in hearing it.
    2. Listen carefully. You figure that the more you know about your co-workers, the better equipped you’ll be to navigate the politics in your office.
    3. Listen but share what you heard only at home and not in the office.
  1. A client has been waiting about five minutes to meet with you but you’re running a little behind schedule. You need a few more minutes to finish what you’re doing so you:
    1. Apologize in person and offer the client a cup of coffee and a magazine.
    2. Have someone else tell the client that you’re running late and will be a few more minutes.
    3. Let the client continue waiting without hearing from you but finish what you’re working on as quickly as you can.
  1. One of your co-workers had too much to drink at your office’s holiday party. You:
    1. Pull her aside and try to get her to switch to coffee or a soft drink.
    2. Take the drink out of her hand in front of everyone and make a joke of it.
    3. Ignore it.
  1. You have a non-urgent question for a co-worker who is talking with someone on the phone so you:
    1. Leave a note saying you need to speak with him and try to get him another time.
    2. Stand in the doorway and wait for him to get off the phone. You figure that that will save you time and that he’s likely to be on the phone again when you come back later.
    3. Motion for him to put the caller on hold so you can speak to him.
  1. One of your co-workers tells you that the new employee in the office looks really sexy in the clothes he or she usually wears to work. You:
    1. Privately point out that the comment was sexist and offensive.
    2. Publicly criticize him for saying something sexist and offensive.
    3. Laugh heartily and voice your agreement. You figure that it’s harmless fun.
  1. You notice that one of your male colleagues’ fly is unzipped. You’re a female and believe that he may be embarrassed if you point this out to him. You:
    1. Quietly and privately ask one of the other men in the office tell him.
    2. Ignore it.
    3. Make a light-hearted joke of it.

7.  A co-worker made a dish that exploded in the office microwave and didn’t clean up after herself. You know who made the mess. You:

A. Tell the person privately that the mess is still there and that it is courteous for her to clean it up so others can enjoy using the microwave.

B.    Ignore it.

C.   Leave a note anonymously on the microwave to “Whoever Made This Mess.

8. A client who is hearing impaired phones your office and wants to talk with you. You work in a cubicle. You:

    1. Remove yourself to a room where you can close the door so you can speak to the client at the volume he needs to hear you.
    2. Speak at a normal volume into the phone and figure that if the client can’t hear you that he can email you or come in person to talk with you.
    1. Raise your voice volume so the client can hear you, even though everyone in and around you will hear what you’re saying.

YOUR SCORE: A’s are worth 2 points, B’s are worth 1, and C’s are work 0. If you scored 14-16 points, your business etiquette skills are strong. You’re able to handle challenging situations courteously. If you scored 10-12 points, you usually practice good business etiquette. Seek ways to approach every situation in your workplace with respect and consideration for others. If you scored below 10 points, you would benefit from doing some additional work to improve your business etiquette skills. Look for books, courses, and one-on-one coaching to help you develop the manners you need in your workplace.

For more information about workplace etiquette, check out Blue Pencil Institute’s Top 25 Tips for Workplace Etiquette. On Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/drlaurahills/workplace-etiquette-25-tips/. – Dr. Laura Hills, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com

 

Hello, My Name Is Laura

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Have you ever had a job that required you to wear a name tag? I serve as the pianist and music specialist at an assisted living facility on Friday mornings and even though I’m there only a few hours each week, my work requires me to wear a name tag. In fact, everyone on the staff wears the same lightweight plastic name tag, from the president on down, giving us all a common identity and a sense of belonging.

Wearing a name tag is not a daily habit for me, so I sometimes forget that I have mine on when I leave the facility. When this happens, and I stop somewhere to run an errand or get a bite to eat, the same thing inevitably happens. Someone I don’t know in the store, bank, or restaurant starts to talk to me. “Hi Laura,” “How ya’ doin’, Laura” or “Can I help you, Laura?” are typical remarks. Sometimes, someone will ask, “Laura, where do you work?” or “Laura, what do you do?” People are much friendlier to me when I’m wearing my name tag. I’ve noticed that they’re more likely to talk to me, to ask me a question, or to smile at me than when I’m not wearing my name tag.

We are issued name tags at conventions, corporate events, and social functions. Don’t we do that so people will be friendlier to one another? A name tag breaks the ice and helps people connect. It enables us to remember one another and makes the awkwardness of first introductions just a bit easier. Name tags can also provide information that can stimulate conversation. For example, a name tag can tell where you are from, what organization you represent, or your title. I’ve noticed that the employees in a local grocery store wear name tags that have something personal on them and an invitation for customers to ask a question. For example: “Hello, my name is Bob. Ask me about the Dallas Cowboys” or “Hello, my name is Denise. Ask me about running marathons.” The employees have told me that these name tags work like a charm in stimulating interesting and friendly conversation with customers.

My point is this: If there’s an opportunity for you to wear name tags in your workplace, wear them. People would be friendlier to you and more likely to strike up conversations. They’d be kinder to you, too. It would be much harder for someone to cut into a line in the company cafeteria if the person next to him could say, “Hey, Michael, we have a line going here.” Name tags remove the anonymity that many people hide behind to excuse rude or unkind behavior. Name tags would make it a lot easier for your clients to know who you are and in larger organizations, for you to know your colleagues in other departments and divisions. And think, too, about wearing your name tag when you’re out visiting client sites and whenever you are doing business on behalf of your company. You’ll see. People will open up to you more when they know your name. — Dr. Laura Hills, President, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com