Tag Archives: goal

Pressing My Nose Against the Glass of Higher Education: Why I Went Back to School

2012 091In my last blog post, I described my 11-year graduate school odyssey from my bachelor’s degree to my doctorate. One of my friends who read the post asked me what motivated me to undertake such a huge goal – why, in my 40s, I decided that a doctorate was something so important to me. This is what I told her:

I wanted to earn a doctorate for as long as I can remember. My childhood hero was Dr. Joyce Brothers, a popular TV personality back in the 60s. Seeing Dr. Brothers on the game and talk shows that aired in my childhood provided me with a different model of a woman than I had ever seen on TV or even, in my life: one who was beautiful but known for being smart. Dr. Brothers was treated with great respect and was called doctor, always, no matter where she was or who was speaking to her. I decided before the age of 10 that when I grew up, I wanted to be just like Dr. Joyce Brothers — beautiful, well-spoken, classy, smart, respected — and doctor.

My decision to return to graduate school in midlife was motivated by a significant life event: my first marriage was unraveling. My former husband is a professor and I spent all of my adult life living in the shadow of one university or another. We married young – two months after I graduated from college – and from the beginning of our marriage I made the decision to work while he completed his doctoral degree and post-doctoral work. I kept working and enjoyed success first as a teacher, then as a writer, consultant, and speaker. However, I always wanted to go on with my studies and I had shown great promise as a scholar in my undergraduate work.  As an academic wife, I always felt that I had my nose pressed against the glass of higher education, looking in from the outside but not being part of it myself.

When the marriage began to falter, I realized how much I regretted not having had the chance to go to graduate school. The old childhood dream of being like Dr. Brothers was still there and I felt I’d missed a wonderful experience by not going to grad school. I knew, however, that starting in my 40s that I could not go to grad school the way I would have when I was younger. At that life point, I could afford to go only to the local state university, a fine school but not necessarily the one I would have chosen if any choice was possible. And, I could take only one course at a time. That’s all I could handle on top of my many other responsibilities – parenting, writing, homemaking, etc. (Even that pace proved to be pretty challenging at times.) My studies would have to fit into my existing life and somehow, I was going to have to find a way to keep all the balls in the air. But, I decided I was going to embark on this long path and make it work.

That’s my story. And since I posted my last blog post about my graduate studies, I have heard from several readers who have told me that they, too, would like to return to school – or, that they are already underway in their studies . Have you ever thought of going back to school or of pursuing another ambitious lifelong dream? I’ve shared my story. Please tell us — what’s yours? – Dr. Laura Hills, President, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com

Four Guidelines for Setting Goldilocks Goals

GoldilocksI’ve coined the phrase Goldilocks goals to describe goals that are not too soft, not too hard, but just right. Goldilocks goals are the ones that are challenging and motivating, but not insurmountable. Remember, Goldilocks had a pretty good idea of the kind of chair, porridge, and bed she was looking for. She had goals. But they were reasonable ones. Her vision of what she was looking for, coupled with her and tenacity and positive outlook, drove her to keep going until she found everything just right. Your Goldilocks goals can drive you to keep going, too. They can help you know what you’re looking for – what just right looks like, feels like, and tastes like in your career and your life — but they can also be reasonable so that you don’t become overwhelmed by your goals and deflated by them.

Below are the four guidelines I’ve developed to help my clients craft their personal and professional Goldilocks goals. In addition, I recommend that you take a look at my Pinterest board, “Goal Setting: 25 Tips” at http://pinterest.com/drlaurahills/goal-setting-25-tips/. Together, these two tools will help you set your own Goldilocks goals – and articulate them positively.

Write your goals for your career and your personal life following these four guidelines:

1. Phrase your goals like you’ve already achieved them. For example, “I now own outright a new black BMW 4-door sedan” or “I have just been promoted to vice president in my firm”. Putting goals in the present tense makes them more compelling and triggers your brain to think of them as achievable and real.

2. Use passionate, motivating language.  For example: “I absolutely love and am excited about waking up every day in my beautiful townhome.” Such a statement is far more motivating than the more sedate, “I like my new townhome”. Let passionate language drive you to achieve your goals.

3. Write specifically and in rich detail.  Your subconscious mind manifests ideas literally. Therefore, use clear, specific and powerful language to describe what you want. For example: “I absolutely love being the HR director of my company. I love having my own office, earning a higher salary, and having the respect of others that go with the title. But most of all, I love being in the position to help others, to solve problems, and to make our company a great place to work.”

4. Write in positive terms. Examples of positive statements might be: “I am now free of the habit of smoking”, or “I am now a smoke free person”. Negative examples might be: “I don’t smoke any more” or “I’m not a smoker”. Your subconscious mind is likely to be motivated by positive outcomes and the benefits associated with them.

Tip: Share these four guidelines and my Pinterest board with your employees, colleagues, and mentees if you are in a position to help them with goal setting. – Dr. Laura Hills, Blue Pencil Institute, www.bluepencilinstitute.com